Dying for love

This is a story about a young boy falling in love with a girl and how he fought for her until the end of his life. It is a story about a couple that was brought together from two different worlds and created their own; one full of love and magic in their hearts. Despite their struggle with their external, cultural differences and suffering from their families’ limiting beliefs, they fought to keep their love alive until the end. Life brought them many obstacles, sadness, despair, and resentment, yet they never let each other go, until death. For over 20 years, they pushed through the darkness for a ray of light.

The story begins with Brad, who grew up in the small town of Struga, at the edge of beautiful Lake Ohrid in Northern Macedonia, Eastern Europe. He was the youngest of three, with two siblings; an older brother and an older sister named Robert and Susan. Brad loved his mom so much and went everywhere with her. He always bragged that he was his mom’s favorite. His father was a great mason, yet he worked in different countries due to the tight economic situation in Macedonia at the time. He would send money home to feed his family and visit two to three times a year. His mom was a lovely housewife, with a pure loving heart, and her home was where all the neighbors gathered for coffee. Brad was very loving and was always there to lend a helping hand to anyone, especially the Elderly. He spent his days at the lake with his friends, or playing basketball and soccer. At a young age, he was very curious; at age eight, he wanted to make his own money, selling snails and watermelon at the local market, and at age ten, he learned how to drive a car. Brad had a beautiful childhood, eating fresh organic foods daily, surrounded by loving family and friends, and just enjoying and learning every day.

At age 12, Brad moved to America with his family, as his father had landed a job there. Being young and curious, Brad adapted fairly quickly, he learned English, and made new friends. Shortly after they arrived, his father bought them a beautiful home. Brad went to school, and had a lot of friends, although continuing his studies after high school was not his thing. He was interested in everything and he was a handyman, but continued in his father’s footsteps as a mason. He joined his father and older brother and learned the construction business. He grew very tall and handsome and had a lot of fun enjoying his life as a young man. He went to parties, traveled to many places and worked very hard. At age 22, Brad met the love of his life Maria at a holiday party. She was a beautiful Italian-American girl, with green eyes and dark hair. She was very sweet, smart and witty. She worked for the automobile industry, and she was a great artist, always writing poems and doing arts and crafts. Her love for Brad was unimaginably deep; people said they could feel their love and see the sparkle in her eyes when she looked at him.

When Brad introduced Maria to his traditional family, they were not too happy that Maria was from a different religion; she was not a Muslim, and not Macedonian. That was very important to his family, because at that time no one married outside of the culture and religion; otherwise, you were labeled as a black sheep. The cultural differences got in the way, and it had nothing to do with Maria’s kindness, nor how great she was and how respectful she was. After a few years of being scolded by his family for not choosing a Muslim girl, Brad moved out of his family’s home and moved in with Maria and her family.

Brad was very happy living with Maria’s family, and he continued to visit his own family. Visits were short and argumentative, and he was always in a hurry to get back to Maria. One day he told his family that he would marry Maria. The family had no choice but to accept the idea. Meanwhile, Maria was not feeling well. After a few months of hospital visits and specialists, she was diagnosed with Wegener’s disease, just before the wedding. Maria was ill for many years and suffered a lot. Brad did not leave her side and neither did Maria’s mom, Sofia. They coordinated with work, as Brad would work during the day, and Maria’s mom Sofia worked evening shifts so they could both be there for her around the clock. Sofia was so gracious and she loved Brad like her own son. She had Maria and an older daughter Emma. She was their rock, she helped, and she cooked her Italian meals, and engaged the entire family with holiday festivities. Sofia always invited Brad’s family and had gifts for them, too. Brad’s sister Susan always supported Brad and celebrated with the family. Brad’s sister Susan was an educated and successful woman, and she dearly wanted her brother to be happy with Maria. The rest of the family made peace with Brad, but always worried about Brad not taking care of himself and his wellbeing. They encouraged him to go to his yearly checkups, but Brad never took time for himself.

15 years passed, and Maria was not getting better. One morning Brad called his family and told them the devastating news that Maria’s mom had passed away from a heart attack the day after Christmas. Everyone was very worried about Maria and the sadness and grief that was about to come. After some time, Brad and Maria got their own apartment and moved closer to Susan’s house. This was their first time on their own, and they were very happy. Susan hosted an Eid celebration and Maria told the family that Brad had not been feeling well for some time, that he had a hard time breathing. Susan and their older brother Robert took Brad to the hospital, and after he was admitted, the doctors worked on his prognosis for weeks. Brad was very sick with stage 4 non-small cell lung cancer and was told that he only had three months to live. The family was devastated, and poor Maria did not know how to take the news, but was determined to help him and she was strong for him. After battling cancer for a year with chemotherapy and constant doctors’ visits and emergency hospital stays, Maria felt very ill and the Wegener’s disease spread all over her body. Maria died at age 40, seven months after Brad was diagnosed. Brad was so saddened by his sweetheart’s passing, but he was determined to get better for his family, especially for his niece Lena and nephews David and Simon. He wanted to make up for lost time with them and watch the youngest, 7-year-old Simon, grow up. His favorite time was buying him Legos and eating pizza with him.

He loved his oncologist Dr. Steven Dorkhom so much, and was always looking forward to his visits. This doctor resembled a Tony Robbins on Steroids; he was happy, loving, and made his patients feel carefree. Mindset is half the battle they say, and his cancer was shrinking more than 70 % with the new medication Lumakras.

Brad’s sister Susan and Maria’s sister Emma helped him thrive. They arranged many activities for him; they were there for him day and night. He had a very positive attitude, he went away for weekends, he went to eat at his favorite restaurants, he went for massages, the movies, etc. Furthermore, his sister Susan was so determined that Brad would get better, she wrote a book about his journey, “In search of the Miraculous Cure”. She wanted him to have more time, and to help families and cancer patients with 40 loving suggestions for cancer, and she wanted her book to be about her brother’s positivity beating cancer.

In addition, the families celebrated every holiday and birthday so that Brad always had something to look forward to. Everyone came together as a happy family. Months after Brad felt better and the medicine was working, he experienced stomach problems, and was taken to the hospital. He needed an emergency surgery and after many complications, he spent 72 days in the hospital. Half of the time he was at the ICU, where he was still determined, and thinking he would get better and go home. His positive thinking allowed him to live almost two years with a three-month prognosis. He never left the hospital; his cancer took a wrong turn, and spread to his stomach. The day after his 47th birthday, on July 13th, Brad passed away with both siblings holding his hand and watching him take his last breath.

Many people might see the tragic fate that Brad and Maria had. The stress and resentment of trying to please both sides of their families, contributed to their illness over time. If the family had come together for Brad and Maria like they did in the end, then maybe their destiny would have been different.

Love is love! Set them free!

[pum_scroll_trigger popup=”721″]