Who is your family?
When asked about family, I personally love to talk about my sister and how she amazes me every day with what she accomplishes. I also love to share stories about my friends and close loved ones who inspire me to dream bigger and work harder.
I do not see myself as having just one family (my parents and sister); I see family in those I choose to spend time with, those who make me feel supported and loved. In 2023, the world has witnessed a lot of changes in what “family”means. Our family, whether chosen or natural, plays a crucial role in defining who we are. Our chosen family comprises those we gravitate towards throughout our lives, and our natural family includes those who raised us, whether biological or not, and those we shared essential moments with during our childhood. Who we are is not merely a reflection of our family but rather a collage of the pieces of ourselves that we then share with the world.
Our natural family
In many situations, our natural family makes up our most important support system. Parents guide us through difficult situations and are always there to lift us up. Siblings support us when no one else can. They can show us how to navigate challenging social situations. Grandparents will show us what true love is and open our eyes to the realities of the world. Families are supposed to be our primary support system and show us what unconditional love is. Having a good relationship with our family is essential when looking to build relationships with others in our lives. Thomas et al. (2017) state that, “The quality of family relationships, including social support (e.g., providing love, advice, and care) and strain (e.g., arguments, being critical, making too many demands), can influence well-being through psychosocial, behavioral, and physiological pathways.”
It is important to have strong ties with our family to grow into our own person, develop social skills, and to understand how to make amends with those we love. In the case of a natural family, learning to love, grow, and support one another is essential for personal growth and development.
Our chosen family
For many people, chosen family members have a better influence than their natural family. Chosen family, as defined by Charlie Health, consists of those you chose to have in your life and help shape you into the person who you want to be. Ashley Laderer says that, “the beauty of chosen families is that their structure and members are entirely up to you. You may not be able to choose your blood relatives, but you can certainly handpick your chosen family members based on who you get along with and who makes you feel seen, heard, and supported.”
Chosen families can offer a sense of belonging to those who may not have this within their natural families. There are many reasons why many individuals choose to build a chosen family rather than relying on their biological or natural family for support, particularly in cases of differences in sexual orientation, gender identity, or career choices. Chosen families offer a safe space where one can reside without judgment, and build themselves up into someone they desire to be. It may take time to curate your chosen family, but what matters is that one feels secure and heard by those they choose to surround themselves with.
Who is in your family?
Family, whether natural or chosen, profoundly impacts one’s mental health, either positively or negatively, based on the relationships we have with them. Take a moment to reflect on your support systems. How do they make you feel? Do you feel supported by your parents, siblings, and extended family? Do you find this support through friends, partners, or roommates? Take some time to reflect on your natural or chosen family members. How have they supported you? How have they taught you love and forgiveness? Emotional health is crucial for coping with stress, building healthy relationships, and making good decisions. The article provides tips on how to improve and maintain emotional health, such as getting enough rest, eating well, exercising regularly, and practicing self-care.
While support systems such as natural and chosen families can help to improve mental health, it is essential that one take responsibility for their own mental wellness, making themselves an integral part of their family as well.