Thick black smoke bellowed out of every opening, starving away any remaining oxygen in the air. The tips of bright orange and red flames flickered through the gaps in the smoke and engulfed the small room, cutting off any hope of escape. Jack drew in the last remaining bit of air in his oxygen tank as he slithered along the floor looking for any way out.
Distant and muffled radio calls could be heard, but all saying the same thing. “There’s no way in or out.” The sound of cracking wood emanated from all directions, Jack rolled onto his back looking up at the burning ceiling. A small piece fell to the ground beside him. His head turned to look at the debris but the cracking sound only got louder and louder.
Just as Jack returned his gaze to the roof, the beams gave way, and sent it hurtling towards him. In a second, all that was left was darkness. The heat dissolved and the ominous sounds of crackling fire and wood washed away to a deafening silence. Jack shot up from his reclined position, his clothes and the sheets beneath him were drenched in sweat and his breath remained shallow and fast for several moments. Jack gripped the sheets in a fist and squeezed his eyes tight as he tried to calm himself. Rays of sunlight had just begun to sneak through the gaps behind the covered window, providing some relief to Jack’s ailing mind. After a few minutes, his grip on the sheet released and his pounding heart began to slow.
“Was it another nightmare?” A voice called out from beside him.
“Yeah,” said Jack through his heavy breath.
A soft hand reached for his chest, bringing Jack back to a reclined position.
“You’re soaking wet, Jack.”
“I know, I am sorry.”
“It’s okay sweetheart, come on, let’s get you a fresh shirt.” Elenore, Jack’s wife, rolled off the bed and turned on the bedroom light to create a soft dim ambiance. Jack opened his eyes and looked around the room. He always preferred the minimalist style. The room was painted a soft white. The wooden furniture and bed sheets were also a comfortable white. Jack slid off the bed onto the cool hardwood floor beneath him.
“Actually, I think I am going to take a shower first.” Jack walked around the bed towards the bathroom where Elenore was standing. He stopped in front of her and wrapped his arms tight around her body.
“I love you,” he whispered quietly into her ear.
“I love you too, and don’t worry, we are going to get through this. Go take a shower and I’ll go make some breakfast.”
Jack released his grip and slipped past Elenore into the bathroom. As Jack showered, he watched as streams of water ran down the length of his arm. The water filled the intended areas and traveled over the raised skin of the burn scars. Jack looked on at his imperfections, trying to understand them and to overcome them. Only two months earlier, Jack had rushed into a burning building with the rest of his truck company, looking for anybody that got caught in the fire. It only took a few minutes for Jack to become the victim. The ceiling collapsed, trapping him under the debris and slowly burning through his turnout gear. It took nearly ten minutes for the other firefighters to pull him out, but in that time, the damage had been done. The scars spanned the length of both arms, chest, and neck. Although not as severe as they could have been, every time Jack looked in the mirror, he averted his eyes.
The smell of blueberry pancakes emanating from the kitchen finally drew Jack out of the warm comforting shower. Once he was dressed, Jack rushed into the kitchen, eagerly waiting for them to finish cooking.
“How are you feeling?”
“Alright I guess, the warm water always feels nice.”
“Good,” Elenore paused. “So listen, there is this new exhibit at the museum. I thought maybe we could go see it.” She paused again, holding her breath.
“Maybe next time,” mumbled Jack. “I don’t feel like going out.”
“It’s only on for a limited time.”
“You can go but I’d like to just relax today.”
“Jack, honey, I think it would be good for you to get out of the house, it’s been two months.”
Jack stood up from the table and walked into the kitchen pressing his palms into the counter.
“I just- It’s uncomfortable, people stare and-” He took in a deep breath.
Elenore took the pan off the stove and turned to face Jack, wrapping her arms around his chest and placing her head softly onto his back.
“Sweetheart, you cannot stay home forever, no one is going to stare at you, it’s not all that bad.”
“Yes it is, I feel like a monster.”
Elenore tightened her grip around Jack. “You are not a monster, you are still the same man I married: kind, gentle, and caring. You love the world and everyone in it and you are a hero and everyone knows it.”
“I don’t know if I can do it though.” Jack took another deep breath.
“I believe in you.” Elenore released her grip. “You see these scars as a mark, as some kind of imperfection that you want to get rid of. What I see is something beautiful. I see a man who risked his life to save others. What you see as monstrous, I see as something amazing. I see the beauty in these imperfections. I see someone even more amazing than before.”
Jack looked around the room, trying to think of an excuse, but nothing came to mind. He took Elenore’s hands in his and looked into her eyes.
“Okay, let’s do it.”
The pair finished breakfast, got dressed, and headed down to the museum. There were a number of signs advertising a new Japanese exhibit called “the beauty of the broken.” Jack studied the sign as he walked past into the Museum. Everything had been rearranged from the last time they were there to make space for the new pieces. Elenore took Jack’s hand, guiding him past all the usual exhibits they had seen many times and to the new Japanese ones that spanned the whole back wall.
Jars, bowls, and plates of all sizes were hung on the wall and behind glass casings on top of pedestals. All of them had the look of being broken and put back together. The cracked lines were still visible, but the seams had been mended with melted gold. Elenore watched as Jack studied the objects closely. Off to the side was a freestanding placard with an explanation of the exhibit pieces. Jacked walked over and began to read it out aloud:
“Kintsugi, a traditional Japanese pottery repair technique in which lacquer mixed with precious metals, especially gold, is used to fill cracks and replace missing pieces.”
Elenore joined Jack’s side as he read the rest of the placard.
“You know, the art of Kintsugi is more than just fixing things. It is symbolic,” said Elenore.
“What does it represent?”
“In the simplest of ways, it represents beauty in imperfection.”
“Really?”
“Yeah. Kintsugi represents the idea that we should embrace our flaws. That we don’t know who we truly are and what we are capable of until we are tested. It tells us that there are times in our life where we will be tested and eventually we will break. However, the gold shows us that we can build back even stronger than before. The gold shows the fault lines in the object and highlights that those so-called scars will not be broken again because the gold is their strength.”
Jack turned to face Elenore. He drew in a deep breath and bowed his head.
“Much like you, your body was tested and it was hurt, but that did not stop you. Those scars, when they heal they are much stronger than normal skin.
Those scars are your gold. They keep you together, they represent your strength and unwillingness to give up or give in.
These bowls and plates are imperfect, but we see their strength, we see the beauty in those imperfections. Your body may not be perfectly healed Jack, but I and everyone else see the beauty in your imperfection and the strength in your heart. Imperfections only give us a chance to become stronger, they never take anything away from us. So, embrace the beauty in these imperfections and show the world who you truly are.”
Jack returned his gaze to the objects that surrounded him, observing each one in more detail than before. He straightened his spine, pulled his shoulders back, and allowed a smile to return to his face.
“Thank you, Elenore.”