There is an inconsistent stigma to doing certain things alone. Having coffee alone in a cafe, for example, carries no stigma even though in many cultures, cafes are considered highly social and a focal point for gathering with friends. Going to the movies alone—even though you’re forced to be a passive spectator in a place that doesn’t necessarily lend itself to socializing—is oddly viewed as an activity to be enjoyed with others. Eating alone in a public place, while entirely acceptable, can be a harrowing, self-conscious ordeal. Travelling alone should definitely not be one of those things; optics and perceptions be damned. It can be incredibly challenging and solitary, but so rich and rewarding. Fortunately, for all solitary international nomads, there have always been hostels to make things not just bearable, but memorable.
In my travels, I’ve had the luxury of visiting exotic places and sharing those experiences with friends, but have also mustered the courage to venture off on my own. All trips have been special, but if I’m honest, the most memorable have been the adventures I’ve taken by myself while staying in hostels. Let me explain why.
Embracing vulnerability and hitting the road alone
Travelling alone for the first time is scary and daunting. The most frightening element is that you’re alone. There’s an endless realm of possibility and adventure in that notion, but the truth is you only have yourself for company, in the beginning at least.
My solo travels have always started with a bit of trepidation. I’d be timid and even a little reclusive, but you can only do that for so long before risking insanity. The human need for social interaction eventually takes over. Even the most anti-social of people will naturally start to gravitate to others out of necessity. Once you get over the nagging neurosis and fright, you start to open up.
Your openness becomes infectious and people will start gravitating to you as well, unleashing the social floodgates. You start meeting all sorts of people. The solitude and traveller’s depression you powered through, quickly becomes a distant memory.
How hostels help the timid traveller
Because I travelled on a budget, youth hostels were my main source of cheap accommodation. When travelling alone, they’re also an oasis for meeting like-minded people out for an adventure.
Other than their basic premise and layout, good hostels—or at least the ones worth staying at—do their fair share to ensure travellers mingle and get to know each other. Free walking tours, themed social nights, and my favourite, organized pub crawls, are just some of the many group activities that may be offered. There’s nothing like a little liquid courage to shake off mild social anxiety.
Shared dorm rooms are also an ideal place to shed any barriers. If you’re travelling on a shoestring budget, you’re compelled to sleep in the same room with others, sharing a very intimate act and space.
The benefits of forced intimacy in hostels
It’s impossible not to have some sort of interaction with the people in your room. Some of the best friends I’ve made while travelling alone were from walking into my dorm room for the first time after checking into whatever random hostel in whichever random city I was in.
There was Kathy from Kansas City. I met her in Brussels, Belgium. When I walked in she was unpacking some things, so I said hi and introduced myself. Early in the conversation, I asked her where she was from, noticing her North American accent. She told me, “Canada.” “Me too!” I exclaimed, excited to have run into a fellow Canadian. “I’m lying,” she confessed. “I’m actually from Kansas. I just tell people I’m Canadian because they tend to treat me better when they hear that instead of the US.”
We laughed and that little humorous dishonesty actually brought us closer together. The two of us hung out that night and throughout the rest of our time in Belgium. We even made our way to Amsterdam together for a few days, eventually splitting up because of our different itineraries. Kathy is just one example in a long list of many like-minded, kind, curious, and adventurous travellers I met and became instant, intimate friends with, thanks to staying in hostels.
What to look for in a hostel when travelling alone
Most hostels have common rooms, shared kitchens, and eating areas where occupants will gather to cook meals, eat, or congregate before setting out on their daily escapades and share war stories on their return.
I always made sure to stay in hostels that had a common lounge area for this purpose alone. The self-consciousness of travelling alone and what others may think was quickly shed. I started wearing my solo wanderlust like a badge of honour and others followed suit.
I found instant relativity and common ground with other travellers adventuring alone. The people I met who were forraying in groups congratulated me and marvelled at the courage to wander the globe with nothing but a backpack. Inevitably, self-paralyzing neurosis gives way to organic socialization. You stop feeling self-conscious at every turn. With enough practice and self-realization, you understand that you’re all in the same boat—just people looking for adventure, new experiences, and to see how others view the world.
That’s what makes hostels so great. They’re not just cost-effective options to keep your travels economical on a budget. The good ones are designed to help travellers meet each other and realize how much they have in common, even if they’re from opposite corners of the globe.
The downside
Hostels are great at bringing people together and helping forge unforgettable friendships, but there’s a reason they’re so cheap.
For the most part, accommodations are shared and built to maximize occupants. For social reasons, this is great, but naturally, there are uncomfortable disadvantages.
Funny sounds, smells, and the absence of privacy
A shared room is undoubtedly the most cost-effective option. Sleeping with strangers you don’t know can be uncomfortable at first. You’re privy to the sounds people make in their sleep which includes loud snorers like myself (sorry for all of those that have shared a dorm room with me. I promise, If I could control it, I would).
Rooms can be smelly. Not from a lack of hygiene and cleanliness, but when 4-12 people sleep in a confined space, you’ll know exactly what I’m talking about. When you step out and return to the poorly ventilated dorm, you’ll be swarmed by the smell of stale, arid air that only a confined room where multiple people have slept can conjure.
They also lack privacy. Your room isn’t just your room. Changing clothes becomes a bit of a challenge. Showering isn’t as liberating and hassle-free as you’re used to. Bathrooms are also usually shared so you’re prone to hearing and smelling…well, you know. It isn’t fun, but you overlook it. You don’t stay in hostels for luxury. You do it for the memories—the bad ones and the good.
In my experience, overlooking the obvious, hostels and the people I met in them were the most rewarding part of all my travels. If I could implore you to gather the courage and valour to set out on your own and stay in a few hostels along the way, I’m sure it’ll be well worth it. You might even see me there, or at least hear me snoring nearby.