Grief, Leave Me! // Arriving Home

Grief, Leave Me!

Silence and a calm face 

but drowning in thoughts 

Endless chatter inside of  me

Powerless, you let me be

Day after day after day

On a constant rollercoaster 

Sadness is consuming me

Wrapped in a blanket with no warmth 

Crashing me over wave after wave

And leaving me with my raw thoughts 

Loss filled with sadness 

Questioning why you 

God had many reasons 

To bring you home 

Now, I am absent from you 

I must throw away all this grief 

Bury it and come to a relief 

And abandon my endless fears 

Trust God, that you live with no tears

and place you in the palace of your great deeds

Grief, leave me

Bring back the warrior within me 

Release this mountain I carry on my back

Find me the light to look for the sun

To warm my frozen heart 

I visit the grave but I feel you are not there

Feeling you flooding in the open air 

Hugging me softly and brushing my hair 

Whispers come to me and my dreams 

To come back to the girl, I know once been

Untie me from these chains of mystery 

Instill a belief that’s stronger than me

And happiness that I knew you from birth 

And share with you your everyday hurt 

I must run from this long dark night

Evoking a memory 

I know I brought you happiness each day 

And prayed for two years to God to stop your pain 

Instilled a positive belief in you

And you went to God with a smile on you!

***

Arriving Home 

Oh, heaven!

Open your doors

And greet your shining armor

Oh, angels of heaven!

Open your arms and hug his tired soul

He has suffered in silence with a smile

Oh, dear God!

Place him in your palms

Bless his soul and heal his many wounds

Oh, my dear brother!

My heart is aching because I won’t see you

But my soul knows it’s where you belong

Till we meet again, farewell, beautiful soul!

***

Your Way to Recovery

Grief creeps up on you – even when a long period passes after a heartbreaking event and no matter how much you think you accepted the death of a loved one. Acceptance is an amazing step during which you think you understand why someone so young and dear to you passed away and was taken quickly. After that, as your mood changes over and over again and as you hold onto the acceptance and fight against your grief, you still feel as though you’re tired of thinking and your body movement is hard. 

I didn’t know what this feeling was until I spoke to my therapist who labeled it as post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). Everything has a name I said and this shall pass but I want you to know that you are not alone when you suffer the loss of a loved one and feel grief. When a relationship ends and this person you care about is no longer breathing, it feels as though all hope is gone. How do we cope and how do we go about our everyday lives while we struggle? 

The true answer is you need to work on yourself because it won’t go away by itself unless it’s a temporary fix with medicine. I deter from taking medication and prefer to seek a holistic approach to work on myself and get better. 

Routine

The first step is to get yourself into a new and different routine. It doesn’t have to be a drastic change. It can be as easy as getting up earlier and engaging in meditation or prayer. In meditation, you have to give yourself time to adjust, concentrate, put effort into surrender and be completely present in order to get better. Through meditation, you can visualize your day beautifully unfolding to help clear the negative and sad thoughts.

Positive Affirmations

Second, you can use daily positive affirmations. When affirmations are done correctly and consistently every morning, it can carry you toward a positive day. Affirmation must be done for a minimum of three weeks so as to reprogram your mind to think positively and bring yourself back on track. Without realizing it, you will continue reciting these affirmations without listening to them. I like to listen to my affirmations while in the shower as I hook up my bluetooth speaker so I can hear them out loud.

Exercising

Third, in addition to meditation and daily affirmations, you can incorporate exercising. You may either exercise daily or up to three times per week. Start with a 15-minute exercise and work your way up over the weeks. As I exercise on the treadmill, I tend to watch my favorite series or listen to music. If I’m taking a walk in the park, I prefer listening to and repeating my affirmations. 

Gratitude

Fourthly: gratitude. Gratitude is guaranteed to take you away from grief. This step is so important as we have so much to be grateful for on a daily basis. Our families, children and the people we care about need us to be better. We must go on with the realization that we still have a life to live and we are on earth for a purpose.

My purpose now is raising my young son to become loving and kind, to love humanity, to learn how to help the universe step-by-step, and to also live in a state of gratitude daily. At the end of each day, we pray together and say what we are grateful for. The simplest things I have him say are “we are grateful for the water we drank today and the food we ate” and “we are grateful for our ability to learn today and for our eyes to see the sun.”

Purpose

Last but not least, live for your purpose. You had a purpose before your loved one passed away, you had dreams and aspirations. Get back to that state of mind. Sometimes when in that state, you may even become more creative. In my case, I started writing poetry, articles, and books, and helping my young son put his story into a children’s book. Whatever it is, push yourself to reach your highest potential. After my experience with grief, I became unstoppable and developed a positive attitude to do whatever it takes to reach my dream. There is no reason to not have self-confidence, everyone is a person, so fear no one but reach for the stars. Grief can sometimes leave us with the potential to create greatness! 

I hope these tips can help you find your way to a great recovery. Wishing you self-love and a beautiful and prosperous life. You are not alone!